Let’s talk family... Part 2

Have you been to a family reunion lately?  Most of the time they are a lot of fun; you're reconnecting with extended family, catching up with cousins, aunts and uncles.  Now if your family is like mine you may have a Conspiracy theorist in the mix and maybe an Aunt that has a beard and dentures and who loved to take them out and gum when you were little…Please, don’t even ask … But besides that when I think of family reunions I have some pretty good memories.  After I met my wife I started going to her family reunions, they were magical experiences for me. The reunions were held on a secluded and gorgeous piece of land right on an arm of the Puget Sound, known as the Hood Canal. It is beyond beautiful there!  One of her uncles kept it in park-like condition, with the beach, mountains and forest it is a place I never wanted to leave.  There is an abundance of fresh seafood.   It has an oyster bed on the right side of the beach and a clam bed on the left.  Someone usually brought crab pots and set them out as well.  So if you love fresh seafood, (dipped in Garlic Butter), like I do, it is paradise.  On top of that, her family has always been exceptionally warm and friendly to me, and I was immediately made to feel like a part of the family from day one.  Now don’t get me wrong, her family is not perfect.  There are occasional hurt feelings and bickering uncles but for the most part they are very fun experiences.  In fact, I don’t think I have missed more than one in 24 years.   

But what if your only family experience was when you went to a family reunion?  What if all the family time you had were a couple of hours a year…?  Or even a week for that matter?  How hard would it be to grow, mature and figure life out without the support of a nuclear family?  Without loving parents and siblings (now I know that siblings aren’t always that loving, but work with me here.)  Life and learning are difficult and when we have the loving support of an immediate family, we can learn and grow, taking the hard knocks that are sure to come our way.  And when we are heading down a dangerous path a loving family can steer us right again and encourage us to head in a better direction.  Plus, we are more likely to receive it when we know they have our best interest at heart.  We can take almost anything life throws at us when we know we have a family in our corner that is there for us and really “gets” us quirks and all.

It’s the same with our church family; Sunday services are more like family reunions.  There is no real time to connect or “do life together.”  Seeing someone 2-3 Sundays a month gives us no real opportunity to become the family of God like the Bible talks about us becoming.   

That is why we encourage our people to connect with others in a small group of some sort.  In small groups you can develop relationships where people can “get you” and accept you unconditionally, just like a real family.  They can be a place where you can grow and mature in faith in Jesus, in an accepting environment, you can express doubts and fears without being criticized.  And learn to jump some of the hurdles life is going to throw at you.   And if life ever comes crashing down you have a ready-made support group to help you though the crisis.

Now you may be thinking, "I was raised in a Church Family, and it was not accepting, it was critical" or "I have been in church and it’s not a safe loving environment like you say it should be."  But if you read “Let’s talk family part 1” you know I said that many of Jesus’ followers have missed quite a few of the primary commands to be loving, forgiving, patient, gentle and merciful towards each other. Those are some things we are spending a lot of energy and prayer to correct in our church.  You see, most of us were messed up by our biological families… and it is only in relationship with Jesus and other believers that we will get healing, restoration and live life as fully developed humans… Christianity was never meant to be lived out in a solo act. It is only when we do life in concert with others that we will experience the blessing and fullness of all God has to offer his children.